Well its Friday and so I forgot oneHe said She Said
If this causes offence sorry Im Not pc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
How do you make five pounds of fat look good/
Put a nipple on it!
What's the difference between your job and your wife.
Well your job will still suck after five years!
What does the mafia and a pussy have in common.
Well one slip of the tongue and your in the shit!!
What's the difference between a penis and a bonus
Well your wife will always blow your bonus.!!
Which sexual positions produce the ugliest children.
Don't know ask your Mum.
How are women and tornadoes alike.
They both moan like hell when they come and take the house when they leave!
Why did God create Adam Frist. Before Eve.
He didn't want anybody telling him how to make Adam.
Why do men find is so difficult to make eye contact.
Breasts don't have eyes.
Holy Fack! I literally laughed out loud...might have woke the neighbors. hehe Good one!A young Marine officer was in a serious car accident, but the only visible permanent injury was to both of his ears, which were amputated. Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the Marine Corps and eventually rose to the rank of General. He was, however very sensitive about his appearance. One day the General was interviewing three Marines for his personal aide. The first was an aviator, and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the General asked, "Do you notice anything different about me?"
The young officer replied, "Why yes, sir. I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears." The General got very angry at the lack of tact and threw him out.
The second interview was with a female Lieutenant, and she was even better. The General asked her the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?"
She answered, "Well, sir, you have no ears." The General threw her out also. The third interview was with a Marine Gunnery Sergeant. He was articulate, squared away, looked sharp, and seemed to know more than the two officers combined (typical).
The General wanted this Gunny, and went ahead with the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?"
To his surprise the Gunny said, "Yes sir, you wear contact lenses."
The General was very impressed and thought, what an incredibly observant Gunny, and he didn't even mention ears. "And how do you know that I wear contacts?" Asked the General.
The sharp-witty Gunny replied, "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no freaking ears."