You could still get charged; the two offenses don't cancel each other out. If your wife is a civilian, well, she's not subject to the UCMJ; strictly civilian law. If she's also military, then potentially both of you get fried.
At the risk of running this train slam off the rails; I've seen the latter happen. Basically, two female soldiers in the same squad--formerly friends-- got into a spat. Not sure what initially caused it, but basically both of them had so much dirt on each other that when the sh*t went down, it went nuclear. Errbody started snitching for everything. Like 7 people ended up going down for all types of stuff; adultery, sodomy, fraternization, conduct unbecoming, sexual assault, you name it.
But that's a story, among others, that should probably have their own thread. Maybe I'll start my own -- call it "Stupid Story Time", featuring Crawdad.